What Comfort Shows Teach Us About Where We Are

Hey Girl,

It’s tax season. Enough said, lol. Work has been working and it has come in hot. How are you? How has life been treating you? You know I’ve been on my journey back to self-trust and coming home to myself, and here’s the latest update:

I just finished Being Mary Jane for the 100th time. It’s one of my comfort shows, and every time I watch it, it feels like I’m meeting Mary Jane Paul all over again. A high-achieving, overly ambitious Black woman with the desire to have it all? That’s me to my core.

In the dating world, I’ve found that many women like me feel forced to choose between two extremes: someone who’s safe and stable, or someone who ignites their passion. The combination often feels rare. But let me tell you—standards are not too high, and you deserve both. Never settle. I never intend to.

Navigating Love and Lifestyle

I used to believe I had to choose between love and lifestyle. I’d never seen both exist in harmony, so I figured one had to come at the expense of the other. I’ve dated partners who were threatened by my ambition—and, let’s just say, a jealous partner is not for me. I’ve also dated for lifestyle, only to feel like a prop in someone else’s world. Neither of these felt like love.

What I’ve learned is this: love is never enough on its own, and lifestyle without connection is empty. There’s always a Justin for a Mary Jane—it just takes time to find someone who aligns with the woman you are andthe woman you’re becoming.

What Comfort Shows Say About Us

A good friend and I were recently discussing how our comfort shows often reflect where we are in life. For me, it’s shows like Being Mary Jane, Sex and the City, She’s Gotta Have It, Scandal and Insecure. These women are unapologetically chasing their dreams and navigating life with an incredible circle of friends—and that’s exactly where I am.

One of my friends loves underdog stories—characters who achieve unimaginable success despite the odds. Another friend hasn’t found a “comfort show” yet, which, to me, reflects her ongoing journey of figuring out what she wants from life.

This conversation made me realize that so much of life comes back to honesty with ourselves. The more honest I am, the more I see my comfort shows as a reflection of where I am—and where I’m heading.

The Gift of Friendship

Having good friends makes all the difference. I’ve had many friendships over the years, but the ones I cherish most are with people who grow with me. The ones who can say, “Remember when…” and connect it to a moment of growth in my life.

Friendship, like life, is about alignment. I love making new friends, but there’s something special about those who’ve witnessed multiple seasons of your journey.

Coming Home to Myself

At 28, I’m learning how these experiences—love, life, and friendship—shape me and lead me back to the woman I trust most. Nothing feels complicated when you understand that everything serves a purpose.

When challenges arise, I ask myself: What is this teaching me about myself? That question has transformed how I see the world. I’m no longer hung up on things that don’t serve me. Everything happens for a reason, and I trust that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

Your Journey Awaits

Friend, what’s your comfort show? What does it say about where you are right now? Whether you’re navigating love, leaning on your friendships, or rediscovering yourself, know this: your journey is yours to define.

Everything we experience—good and bad—is a step toward becoming the best version of ourselves. Let’s embrace it all, trust ourselves, and keep growing.

With so much love,

Tiarra 🌹