The Shift No One Talks About: From Girlhood to Womanhood
Hey Girl,
There’s a moment, quiet and unannounced, where you realize you're no longer a girl. It doesn’t come with a celebration. No red carpet rolls out. There’s no guidebook, no ceremony, and often… no warning.
You’re just expected to show up as a woman. And somehow, you’re supposed to know what that even means.
The Silent Goodbye to Girlhood
No one really talks about the grief that comes with leaving girlhood behind.
It’s not just growing older or taking on responsibilities—it’s the quiet realization that the world no longer offers you the cushion it once did. The mistakes you made at 15 are seen differently at 25. The softness you once led with now feels like a liability. The freedom to be unsure, to fall apart, to explore without explanation—fades, slowly and then all at once.
Girlhood often meant dreaming out loud, laughing without reason, feeling everything all at once, and expecting to be protected. And then one day, people stop asking how you’re doing and start expecting you to carry everything—without complaint.
The Personal Weight of Womanhood
I became a mother a month and a half before my 17th birthday..
That moment—while filled with love—was also the moment girlhood ended for me, even if I didn’t realize it right away. I didn’t get a gradual shift into womanhood. I was placed in it—suddenly responsible, seen as strong, expected to know things I hadn’t even lived yet.
At 28, I’m still unlearning how to hold everyone and everything before myself. It’s hard to learn who you are as a woman when you’re still exploring who you were as a girl.
And my body? She has carried so much.
The physical shifts, the noise about weight and image, the hormonal chaos that no one warned me about. Sometimes I feel like I’m still growing into this body, still learning how to listen to her through all the noise.
There’s also the weight of self - the constant battle of how I should carry your pain, or hide it altogether.
Then there’s the responsibility.
Being the strong one. The reliable one. The one who holds space for everyone else. Daughter. Mother. Partner. Friend. Employee. Every title carrying weight—yet no one ever really checks how heavy it is. You get so caught up in being everything that you forget to just be.
The Quiet Expectations of Womanhood
Womanhood comes with its own set of unspoken rules:
Be strong. Be graceful. Be independent. Be everything, all at once.
But where’s the room to still be curious? To not have it all together?
Somewhere along the line, womanhood became synonymous with holding it down…even when it’s heavy. We’re expected to be resilient. And many of us have been taught that being “a good woman” means sacrificing parts of ourselves to hold relationships, families, and legacies together.
But… what if we’re allowed to rewrite that?
"It's hard to learn who you are as a woman when you're still exploring who you were as a girl."
And so many of us are doing both at the same time—unpacking old stories while writing new ones. Trying to be grounded, while still getting to know the little girl in us who didn’t always feel seen, heard, or protected.
What Girlhood Should’ve Taught Us
We deserved more than we got. We deserved to be told that:
It’s okay to say no and not feel guilty.
You’re allowed to rest.
Self-trust is something you build, not something you're born with.
Softness is not weakness—it’s power wrapped in grace.
Healing isn’t a straight line, and growth is still valid even when it’s messy.
And most of all, we deserved to be told that becoming a woman doesn’t mean forgetting the girl we used to be. It means honoring her, listening to her, and learning to mother ourselves with the love and care we once craved.
Your Journey Awaits
There is no one moment that makes you a woman. It’s a series of choices, of shifts, of small awakenings. And it’s okay if you’re still becoming. I am too.
You’re allowed to carry both—the softness of your girlhood and the strength of your womanhood. You don’t have to choose.
Because becoming her?
It’s not a finish line.
It’s a return to yourself.
💭 What’s something you wish someone had told you before you became a woman?
Share it with me — leave a comment or message me on Instagram @girlfinally. Let’s talk about the things no one talks about.